… Freedom (the novel by Jonathan Franzen set on Cathedral Hill) isn’t free.

… I can’t host Toastmasters Jamboree 2K11 with 80 jars of strawberry JELLY!!

…but I’m not just gonna, like, *stop* drinking sunkist.

… check it out: I turn it on in the morning when I leave from work, and when I get home there is a fresh loaf of bread just waiting for me. How easy is that?

…I get three free magazine subscriptions if I subscribe to this magazine

… I really need to get this rash looked at…

… everybody will be impressed that I know how to cook tuna steak

… I’m a zombie before my double macchiato

…young-me would have loved this Lego Death Star so much.

…this zine workshop should really open a lot of doors for me.